Ok, so i finally have a new journal! I am now __electrique so please follow me here or simply click here to add me to your friends list.

I have really appreciated all the support & love you have showed me girls...you have been real angels and you mean to me more than you can imagine so i do hope to find you all there at my new journal again! I have already added you all back & it took me more than i expected so please forgive me if i don't have the time to leave you comments today!

Love you all...(((big big hug)))

This silent sea is making me drown. It's not taking me anywhere. And the real problem is that i don't even know where i want to go. Thoughts float away like feathers...anytime i come here my mind goes blank & i decide to give up. I'm so tired of being a silent sea...i want to be an exploding volcano!

Well well, i don't know how to feel. I don't really want to talk about this but i'm very very very worried about Steve. He might have some serious liver problems but we won't know anything precise about it until his doctor gets his analysis results back (which will probably be after Christmas).

I feel like a wreck but i'm trying to be strong. Especially for him. I just hope it's nothing serious with all my heart. I'm trying so hard not to cry...i'm trying to be as positive as i can. It just won't be a 100% happy Christmas this year. All the worries i try to hide will still be there in a little corner of my heart. & it's just so hard to get a decent sleep these days...& when i do get to fall asleep my nights are haunted by terrible nghtmares.

On a lighter note, i'm pretty happy with the presents i got for my family. I hope they will like them! I always have the impression i never do enough for the ones that i love. I'm so curious about the present my sister got me hehehe! I got her a big big book/album about the movie "Amelie"! I'm sure she'll love it!

Does any of you know how Chanel (pillfetish) is doing? I really miss her & her amazing words! I hope she's doing fine! She's totally disappeared!

Today is cold and gray but it perfecly fits my mood. My apple&cinnamon candle is burning & everything's quiet. Tomorrow is going to be a very busy day...i have to finish wrapping all the presents, i have to help my mom clean the house and make brownies! I made almond cookies for the first time a few days ago & they came out very very good! Everybody loved them! I'm so proud of myself because i actually changed the original recipe adding my personal touch and they tasted great!

Well, i have to go now but i want to wish you all a fabulous Christmas full of love and happy moments! Thank you for all the love and support you always give me! It means so much to me! More than you can imagine! & happy birthday to Sammi!!

Today everything is pink and glittery and i feel all light and happy. I don't know why! I want to make cookies and buy presents, i want to laugh and just cling to this feeling as long as i can.

I guess i feel good because i finally bought all the books i needed for school & i'm almost done with my Christmas shopping! I miss Steve though...i talked to him just for a minute this morning because he was very very sleepy and he sounded so sweet he just made me melt! I miss his cute cheeks hehehe...he always says i make his cheek sore because i give him too many kisses! But i know he loves it when i give him little kisses! :)

And you know what? i think there is a ghost or some kind of presence in my house. Too many strange things have happened lately...strange noises, things that move by themselves...sometimes i get very scared but in a way it makes me feel less alone. I know it's not a bad spirit because the sounds i heard were all sweet and delicate...could it be an angel or a fairy?

hmmm white musk incense is the best! i love it...it makes me feel all relaxed! & i love everything they have here...ah i wish i had the money to buy better presents and more things for me! :)

well well, time to go and fix pasta for me and my sis! have a great day everybody!

My mind keeps giving birth to words that have meaning only if read in circle and possibly in a confusional state. Flowers made of ink and paperhearts...labyriths of thoughts and memories that make me cry and smile...smile and feel weird. I don't know how to feel anymore. But i'm trying to let the anguish go...maybe...one day. I hope. _______hold me tight. & i'll be fine.

p.s. i'm sorry i always sound so boring and confused.
p.p.s. i'm sorry i didn't get to send Christmas cards and gifts to all of you for lack of money and time...but just know that you all have a very special place in my heart!
p.p.s. a few minutes ago i accidentaly dropped some vanilla essence all over my hands and now i smell like cookies! Yum! hehe